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Pages: BF is being controlled by his crazy ex [1]
Author Topic: BF is being controlled by his crazy ex
nicolo

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Posts: 5

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2010-11-10 16-14-19

BF is being controlled by his crazy ex Background: I've been seeing this man for 8 months. I truly love him. We spend 4-5 nights together. We have tons in common. of the reasons I love him is because he stepped in when his ex-GF got preggers from a night-stand. He raised the kid (developmentally disabled) as his own for years before they split up, but he continued to see him as much as he could. His ex GF (mother of the - they never married) moved to Connecticutt for awhile (he/we're in NYC), and he went every weekend to see his boy. Fast forward ten years. She's tried to get him back several times, and even stalked him and a GF of his years ago, screaming at them on the street and hitting his then-GF. THen-GF wanted to press charges, but he didn't want her to, because it would affect her job (and ability to take care of her/his/their son). Anyway, then-GF split up with him over it. So now, his crazy ex is still ing him. She recently moved back to NYC in hopes of getting back together. She refuses to let him see "his son" - she uses the boy against him, to control him. He's constantly heartbroken that he can't see the boy. I hear him on the phone say "we'll never be together, I have a girlfriend now. It's getting serious." so it's not that I don't trust him, but all of his energy is caught up in trying to see his "son" - and it's most of what he talks about. His family and friends are telling him that he's going to blow it with me and they urge him to let go - but he can't. I don't know what to do. I try to be supportive, but when she s and they have 45 minute heated arguments, while we're away for a "romantic weekend" - it's really hard! I love him, but it seems like this will never go away. We returned to his apartment after a weeklong vacation last week and she was outside his building. She yelled at me. I'm not sure what to do.
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emerant

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Posts: 6

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2010-12-21 12-32-56

What does he say about this when confronted?
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penley

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Posts: 37

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2011-01-11 22-01-34

Basiy, he wants to see his boy. That's it. And since he has no legal rights to him, he has to keep in contact with her so that he has a chance. The kid is completely confused. She has the boy to say "Goodbye forever" - it's sick.
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gaster

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Posts: 13

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2011-03-17 3-36-24-

Restraining order? And see if he will stop taking her s at least when you are away together.
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  • farrakhan

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    Posts: 34

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    2012-10-30 21-12-50

    This isn't going to get any better Reason: He loves his son and he comes first at ALL costs, including over you. However, some things to keep in mind. If she comes after you again, your bf should know that you WILL press charges and you WILL file a restraining order. See... she's gotten away with it so far and he's allowed her to get away with it. If she s you, block her number or change your number. If she continues, inform her that that you're filing a RO against her. It may blow what you have with this guy but he's allowing it to happen. He doesn't want her but he has to keep some peace with her for the sake of their kid. If he doesn't do something, she will continue. If the gfs are breaking up with him, then mama is winning the game. Don't play, file an RO where she has no contact with you or near you. ANd if she voilates it, the cops. HAVe her arrested. Wonder how many times she's arrested before she gets a clue.
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  • riehle

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    Posts: 40

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    2013-01-21 12-28-58

    a restraining order for just yelling? She never touched me or got within ten feet of me. She DID do that to anotherof his ex-girlfriends, years ago, but I've only seen her once. I don't see how I have any cred to get an RO. Doesn't there have to be an assault or something?
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    Tressa

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    Posts: 34

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    2014-01-19 11-35-14

    My son did jail time for yelling at some He never touched the guy, he just kept walking behind him yelling at him. It's ed harassment.
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    sermons

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    2015-09-19 8-30-32-

    Yes, it's possible You don't need physical contact for assault - just putting someone in fear of their safety. Can you get it forincident of yelling? Unlikely. You could file a report for assault, but little would happen. If this happens on several occasions or if she harrasses you in other ways, you can follow up then.
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