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Pages: Question about names [1]
Author Topic: Question about names

Full Member
Posts: 13

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2011-02-08 22-24-04

Question about names Hi, I need so mcuh help with names... I do not get who is fem and who is butch. Or even if I can say butch. How do you know if you are fem? I am so lost I did not get a manual or get shown the hand shake. Please help How do you know if you are fem or not?
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Sr. Member
Posts: 3

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2011-03-23 11-31-26

I'm sure there are as many answers to this as people you ask. I met someone recently who self ID'd as butch, but when I met her she was wearing stockings and flats. Go figure. So, what do YOU think you are? That is what you are.
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Posts: 13

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2011-03-29 22-15-59

how long have you been out? I agonized about this myself when I first came out. After a while, you'll see that in some cases labels are helpful, in other cases labels are useless. You'll figure it out after you've spent some time in the community. Most people aren't strictly one or the other anyway.
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Posts: 36

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2012-12-25 0-44-17-

Well I am just not sure how long I have been out I never sew the need to sit down with my Dad and tell him when i started dating women. But I was with my last gf for x years. When I was with her I felt more femm, but I do not where make up or anything. I am not so stuck on labels, but I am now single and feel way out of my element. I am seeing stuff like soft stud. I have no clue what that is.
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Posts: 85

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2015-09-26 9-43-14-

If you don't identify with the terms then you don't have to use them. The terms are optional, and if it's not something that resopnates with you, then don't sweat it. Some people find joy, recognition and hotness in IDing as butch, or femme, or stud, or what have you... many others do not. People may tag you, but you don't have to accept it. For example, almost anyone would me a butch, and although I definitely see their point, I don't necessarily ID that way myself.
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    Posts: 86

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    2016-04-05 20-02-17

    But what do I say when asked? I am single now and I want to start dating. So I was going to trying to meet someone online. I want to be truthful with who I talk to. Is it ok to say I do not know if asked if fem or butch? And how flaky dose that sound?
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